The Method of Being As You Are

From early childhood into adulthood, we have been conditioned and taught how to act, what to believe, and how to think and feel by our parents, teachers, friends, and peers. However, there has been an undertone to all of this conditioning and teaching: that as you are, you are not good enough, not acceptable; there is improvement and change needed in you; you are flawed, not entitled to contentment and happiness as you are right now. This message is hammered so constantly, in so many different ways, and by so many people that it becomes established as a core belief – I am not acceptable as I am.

Try to recognize thoughts that tell you that you are not good enough. In fact, most thoughts are of this category, in one form or another, and they are always given to you by others, either explicitly or implicitly. The whole mechanism of the mind and ego is composed of these kinds of thoughts and feelings – and it is a product of social conditioning. Each person’s original, intrinsic nature is silent, blissful, and loving, but through externally imposed conditioning, one becomes discontented, anxious, depressed, angry, and hateful.

In this meditation method, work to dislodge this belief. In a focused, quiet time set aside for meditation, with great intent and courage, accept yourself exactly as you are in this moment.

You may have read or heard these kinds of words promoted by self-help books or teachers. However, rarely is the full depth and meaning of the method explained. Perhaps these authors and teachers have not experienced it fully themselves, but are merely repeating what they themselves have heard from someone else. Really, this is a meditation method and one has to understand and engage deeply with the meaning behind the words, not merely recite them as a mantra. When it is done properly, a cathartic sense of relief and release is experienced, followed by an inner state of tranquil meditativeness. Only a meditator can vouch for this experience.

When you are happy, be happy, when sad, be sad, when angry, be angry. Whatever the case, a meditative person is authentic and honest, and does not pretend to be something they are not. A meditative person drops all masks and all shoulds and should-nots, and accepts oneself in this moment, unconditionally.

This method can be easily misunderstood. It can be interpreted as meaning that since you already are who you are, nothing is to be done and you can forget about the whole thing. In a way, it is true that nothing is to be done. However, it is not true that nothing is to be undone. The effort in this method is qualitatively different than ordinary effort, in a subtle way. Ordinarily, effort means striving to achieve or attain something external to you. In meditation, the work is the exact opposite: to undo, deprogram, and drop beliefs, thoughts, and feelings which you have accepted and adopted as your own but are not in fact yours. It is a kind of inverse effort, a letting-go. In meditation, the effort is to go in rather than out, and to become aware of your intrinsic nature or self.